I do not pretend to be an expert on Catholic law or dogma, but don't have to be to have an educated opinion. I have read and know what was written in the texts on which the church bases its authority and teachings, and believe it is unfair and inherently self-serving to claim that one must be a Catholic to criticize Catholicism anymore than one must be a Marxist to criticize Marx or a psychoanalyst to criticize Freud.
No, I cannot criticize someone's family because they will always know them better until and unless they wade into the public arena in which case we have a right and a duty to examine who they are and what they say and do. Most families do not have paper trails long enough to fill libraries, nor do they pretend to be authorities on all things moral, political, and even scientific. Because of selection bias (those who believe most in these systems will adhere to them) those most critical of a belief system or organization will tend not to join, so relying on insiders (who are also constrained in what they can say for reasons of loyalty or self-preservation within the organization) will not produce valid and balanced criticism.
In Angela's Ashes (Irish Catholic) author Frank McCourt describes his shock at discovering a whole range of great Irish authors like James Joyce - but only after he had moved to America. The reason? Because they were Protestant and his Catholic educators in Ireland did not feel it necessary to include them in the curriculum or even mention them apparently.
My mother is Catholic. My brother is Catholic. All of my siblings were educated at Notre Dame where they received an outstanding Catholic education. I attended the largest Catholic majority college on the East Coast (West Point, believe it or not, although not nominally religious does attract a disproportionate number of Catholics, perhaps because of the discipline aspect). My mother's brother, my father-in-law's brother, and my sister-in-law's uncle are or were all priests. One served a long prison term in China for his religious affiliation. Both of my in laws are Catholic and I respect both of them very much. Were it not for the Jesuits, my father-in-law never would have received an education and been whisked out of China when the communists took over. Two of my favorite novelists (Walker Percy and Graham Greene) were Catholic and Catholic themes featured prominently in their writings.
So I know of what I speak. I personally believe criticism makes us stronger, and we are wise to listen to our critics. To paraphrase another spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama, our perceived enemies are our guides. We shut them out at our expense.
I do think the Catholic church as an institution has a difficult history when it comes to tolerating critics, perhaps no more ugly than any large corporate entity, but unlike Exxon-Mobil or the Knights of Columbus, the Catholic Church had the power of life and death over ordinary citizens for a number of centuries and their behavior was anything but pro-life during this period.
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