By Mike Victor
May 1, 2014
A Virginia-based evangelical Christian group known as the Family Foundation is planning for its members to pray and abstain from sex for 40 days and 40 nights later this year in an effort to fight same-sex marriage.
According to LGBT website FrontiersLA.com, The Family Foundation announced earlier this week that members will be refusing to have sex with each other or even themselves from Aug. 27 to Oct. 4 in support of the state’s Marriage Amendment, passed in 2006, which defined marriage in Virginia as a right reserved only for heterosexual couples. The Amendment was overturned earlier this year and goes before the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals on May 11.
A statement on the Family Foundation’s website said, “Our state and nation are mired in a morass of confusion and post-modern thinking that does not believe in absolutes nor [sic] that any truth can even be known. Nowhere is this more evident than in the current debate raging about what constitutes marriage. Clearly, marriage involves a woman and a man and sometimes electric toys or special lubricant, but never two members of the same sex. Pagan philosophies, a secular humanist education establishment and an entertainment industry that is absolutely determined in pushing the envelope on decency and morality have all combined to turn this great land into a country that our forefathers could not even begin to recognize. When Thomas Jefferson was having hot sex with his teenage slave, that was decency and morality. Now, if Sally Hemming had been Sam, that would have been wrong.”
The Family Foundation is outraged that the values of the founders are being trampled. "The foundation of this country, its bedrock, its core principles can be summed up in two words: vaginal sex. It's what Jesus would have wanted. "
The group hopes to enlist as many fellow Christians as possible in the weeks-long sex-free vigil, but so far has enlisted only two couples pictured above who, to strengthen their resolve, have engaged in an elaborate, but decidedly platonic, wife-swapping scheme. "Sure, there are those who think it's kind of weird, spending 40 nights in the bed of another man's wife, but I figured it was the least I could do for the spirit of the Lord. It's not like I would look forward to having a new playmate or anything, or that after 20 years of marriage it wouldn't be nice to see Miss Chastity here come dripping out of the shower and have a little towel malfunction. But I'm a Christian, see, and so I know adultery is wrong. That's why I know that the only way I can guarantee that I won't have sex is if I share the bedroom with another woman who I just met at this rally. "
Her husband, pictured on the far left, appeared nervous. "It sounded kind of crazy at first, but this gentleman makes a good point. There are many who might not trust their spouse to spend 40 days and sharing a bed with a virtual stranger, but those people aren't Christian, I guess. You gotta have faith, know what I mean?"
When asked if they were discouraged, Chastity shrugged. "Oh, sure, when the Supreme Court hears the case, we expect it will be like David and Goliath. Who were both men, by the way. Who didn't have sex with each other. They tried to kill each other and one did, but god's cool with that. But a kiss, a hug, maybe more, no way.
"Anyway, the federal government, news media, Hollywood, the public education system, big business, biologists, health care professionals, marriage and family counselors, and even the Lord all are on the side of same-sex marriage. But the church we formed supports what we think Jesus would have thought of homosexuality if he ever got around to saying anything about it one way or the other. But we have faith that just because he didn't condemn it doesn't mean we can't."
The group is asking other men and women to vow not to touch their private parts or anyone else's until and unless same sex couples are forced to have sex outside of the sanctity of marriage. "Sure, it's been a hard sell. To be honest with you, not a single person has agreed to go along with us. Especially the wife-swapping part - that kind of weirds people out, but we're used to weirding people out, being evangelicals and all."
Her husband, who only gave his first name "Bubba", nodded vigorously. "Our religion is based on trust. If someone asks, Are you a virgin? and she doesn't say anything, it kind of settles it that she must be, right? So if at the end of 40 days and nights, I ask my wife if she was touched, kissed, caressed, fondled, or stimulated to the point of orgasm by this gentleman here, if she says no, I will take her word for it."
Her husband, who only gave his first name "Bubba", nodded vigorously. "Our religion is based on trust. If someone asks, Are you a virgin? and she doesn't say anything, it kind of settles it that she must be, right? So if at the end of 40 days and nights, I ask my wife if she was touched, kissed, caressed, fondled, or stimulated to the point of orgasm by this gentleman here, if she says no, I will take her word for it."
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