An Anonymous Letter to Dr. Laura

Bible Letter to Dr. Laura

A Letter to Dr. Laura

Anonymous email, May, 2001

[This was circulated on the Internet so most have probably read it, but it's a real classic. The basic thesis of course is that it is absolutely impossible to live very concretely according to the dictates of the collection of works we now call the Bible since they were quite clearly grounded in an age that condoned many things we would today label as both immoral and illegal, such as slavery, capital punishment for minor offenses or crimes of conscience, and misogyny. My fundamentalist friends who argue that those of us pointing out these facts are cherry-picking are of course correct, but must concede that many things condemned as an abomination unto the Lord, such as eating shellfish or wearing clothes of a mixed fiber, such as cotton and polyester, are not seen as passionate moral issues today, certainly not capital offenses. Therefore, the Bible is clearly a historically grounded and somewhat relativistic document (polygamy is sanctioned in places but illegal in all 50 states today). The fact that some parts are factually or morally incorrect does not mean it all is, but it certainly makes the idea of a literal, concrete, legalistic reading (versus a poetic or metaphorical reading) impossible for a modern reader. We are seeing this through the lens of our times, of course, but those who argue that certain values are transcendent (a point I would agree with) across cultures and times cannot make a cogent argument that we are wrong in condemning slavery while those of Biblical times eagerly embraced it and incorporated it into the fabric of their times.]

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the laws and how to follow them.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Leviticus 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Leviticus 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Leviticus 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Leviticus 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some kind of wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus 19:27. How should they die?

I know that from Leviticus 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse an blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Leviticus 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

Anonymous